Our Favorite Patient Types

“Doctor, we’re asking about your favorite types of patients. Do you prefer the one who says, ‘Doctor, that’s not what Google says,’ or the one who says, ‘Doctor, whatever my wife says goes’?” That’s a universal rule, my dear Erdem. Of course, we prefer the patient who says, “Whatever my wife says goes.” “Doctor, do you prefer the patient who collects their kidney stones and brings them in, or the one who refuses to accept them, saying, ‘There’s no way this stone came out of me’?” We like patients who collect their stones and bring them in because the stones need to be analyzed. If a stone sample is available, it is valuable to us. “Do you prefer the patient who asks about every second of the surgery or the one who says, ‘Put me to sleep, doctor, and let me know when it’s over’?” Of course, our favorite is the patient who says, “Put me to sleep and let me know when it’s over.” We prefer talking to patients after everything is finished. “Doctor, do you prefer the patient who quietly comes alone or the one who walks into the room with their entire extended family?” That’s an interesting question. Sometimes both are necessary, but if you ask my preference, we definitely prefer the patient who comes alone. “Okay, doctor, our final question. Do you prefer the patient who messages you on WhatsApp every day asking, ‘Doctor, is this normal?’ or the one who even forgets their follow-up appointment?” We like the patient who forgets their follow-up appointment, my dear Erdem.